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8th June 2009

10:31am: Another recap......(if people are reading this?)
Well have got some spare time so I thought about another update.

Since the last update life for me has been tough....very tough.

My inner demons are having a field day at the moment, I seem to be very low on self beilef and self confidence. Im very paranoid about many things and can be very suspicious about stupid things.......I hate being like this really do. It seems this inner demons are winning as well....im trying my best to combat against this though but its not easy. I have good days dont get me wrong but when I have bad days then I very rarely talk as my brain is on overdrive....like a brave jedi knight against tons of evil empire troops....Im trying my best to battle against it. Use the force Mark.....use the force lol

I worry about stupid things and my friends know this very well (yup Caz thats you hun lol), for instance when I send a text to a friend and dont get a reply back then I straight away get suspicious no matter what the reason maybe for them not replying. Some people though I really wished did bother to reply come on a text only takes a few seconds to do and send. So I keep saying to myself........why do I bother.

Anyway since the last update I went to Dropzone and went tagging for only the 2nd time this year. I did enjoy it most of the time and did pretty well, I was distracted by things though which didnt help. Overall though Im still not keen as I was tagging wise....I just seem not to get the hang of things anymore. Again I dunno if its the lack of self confidence or esteem doing this or is it just me not liking it anymore. Will give it another go sometime soon perhaps for these Halo games im hearing much about.

The only thing that is really holding me together is LOTNA, Ive got many good friends their but for the first time I think since Ive joined I have thought about leaving for a little while but then thought no that would make me feel much much worse. Ive met some great friends but its true im not enjoying it as much as I use to though. I always put on a brave face while their...again i can be a different person when I need be (a clone as I said in a previous facebook post). I honestly dont know why im not enjoying it as much as I did? I wished i lived in London though as missing a lot not living there but their is no way Im going to move at the moment especially in the current working climate.

Work at the moment is crap which dosent help, cant give the reasons but hopefully this will be solved by the end of the week and then I will be getting very busy again....work will then keep my mind off things.

Relationships is always a major factor of my life at the moment and I think i now know the reason why I seem to fail so much nowadays, I tick all the right boxes (not bad looking, no ties, steady income and good set of teeth). When a lady shows an interest (it does happen a few times) then I get very keen.......too keen. I need to be more laidback I think. Problem is as it dosent happen often no wonder I get keen. Another tough challenge.

Tried to get myself organised and do other things so went to see Terminator: Salvation a few days ago and did like it.....it was miles better then the third film but not as good as the other two. Bit too much bang wallop for my liking and the storyline wasnt too strong but their was some nice touches making references from the previous films (Linda Hamilton coming back for instance...but wont say how though). As a Terminator fan I did enjoy it though and thought Christian Bale did John Connor pretty well....not outstanding.

Last night went to see 'Elivs on Stage' starring Lee 'Memphis' King with Mum as a late birthday pressie...she enjoyed it and I thought it was pretty good but not really my thing. Shame my seat was crap. Sadly the New Theatre is an old style theatre so dosent cater for anyone over 6ft so I felt very cramped. Had to watch the show on my side at one stage. Hoping to see Bill Bailey sometime in August so will try and get much better seats with some legroom.

Will try and think of other things to do......I may even be going to Amsterdam in a few months time which will be interesting.

Please comment back if you wish too, be nice to hear from anyone.
Current Mood: rejected

13th April 2009

2:29pm: New Profile Pic
............oh and yes that is a new user pic.

Me April 2009 (just before hosting the Pirates Freeform Game)
1:41pm: Life in the Doughnut World.........Take 2

Yea okay I did say I was coming back a few months back and then haven't posted since that message was typed lol

Anyway here is another recap of whats been going on since well December and this time it wont be so long.

Life generally has been going okay I guess, its not been brillant it hasnt been briliant for a good 5 months or so now sadly. Xmas came and went and wasnt that great. Since then Ive tried to pick myself up by making myself busy with various other sub projects these include doing a game for the LOTNA birthday party back in March and also staging my 3rd freeform game for LOTNA just a few weeks back (Davy Jones Locker) both were very successful and it was nice to see so many smiles on peoples faces.......even when deep inside im very unhappy its nice to see other people happy. I try nowadays not to get things to overblown and let it affect others......this in someways can backfire though as it means im keeping too much inside.

Thanks to the success of the pirates game im now in the middle of looking at creating two new games (getting help with one) so that should get my mind busy for the next few months but these things are not easy to plan.

Family wise most are well, parents currently in the middle of a three week holiday in Oz seeing my sister and family. I could not go due to work commitments and also could not spare 15 days leave. Sadly the curse of the illness that hits our family has now again affected my cousin and auntie so things are not great but again im putting on a brave face.

Work the past 4/5 months has been okay but not great (due to no fault of my own) we been hit by some awful bad luck which means I could not do my job properly for quite sometime now........I just hope things are fixed soon or I will go mad! Again putting on a brave face at least in these troubled times Ive got a job.

Relationship wise again i dabbled my big toe into it again recently with a nice lady I met just a few weeks back via facebook of all things and again we got on very well (she is near my age which is a bonus!) blonde and bubbly my ideal type..but.......and their seems always to be a but with me.......she just wants to be friends which is okay I guess. It seems im ideal friend type person but never the next stage which for me is what I really want now........been single too long and not getting younger. I am trying but seem to be failing at most things....I wont give up though but try and not look desperate.

I guess after typing all of this im realising why im not been in a great mood......so many factors seem to be going against me at the moment.

LOTNA celebrated its 11th birthday in early March and we had a big party in London, it was very well attended and we had many things going on (including 4 games one in which I hosted). Overall this was a great success with everyone enjoying themselves. LOTNA is looking pretty healthy attendance wise with many new people coming plus the regulars which is great. Due to my non social life at home LOTNA is now pretty important to me as I can chat to many friends about various things....my social life at home has been non-existent for a few years now sadly.

In March went to see the Bootleg Beatles in concert in Oxford for the 2nd time and went with two lovely friends from Denmark Nadia and Ida, it was great to go with them (who both are bigger fans then me of the Beatles) and the concert was very good. I even met 3 of the 4 'Beatles' and 'Ringo' bought me a drink lol Def will remember this for a while. Hope to see my Danish friends again sometime this year.

Davy Jones Locker Freeform game was finally staged in London on April 4th and it went very well. 11 LOTNA peeps took part with about 10 watching it as well. This was a pirate themed game and involved many things as each character had a goal to achieve which would clash with another......so their were many 'fights' and incidents....all light hearted of course. I also put in 2 sub games to make things are bit more exciting these were Ship Battle (an enemy ship decides to attack the player ship.....twice) and the 'Mighty Storm'. Both were new inventions by me into the game and both turned out very well. I think everyone had a lot of fun. Overall a good success. Next time I stage another game.....perhaps later this year or def early next year.

So whats coming up?? Well looks like no holiday this year as basically due to falling Euro I really cant afford going to Greece again, instead I may go around UK and see some friends. I also need a new computer sometime this year as this one is 4 years old now and showing signs of going kaput (well DVD writer is). I went tagging for the first time a few weeks back and decided to try and enjoy it and I did.......I still not fully convinced that I want to go back (again due to personal reasons) but going to Dropzone 09 this year but this time staying in an hotel.

Im going to a party in 2 weeks time which im looking forward to (sadly clashes with LOTNA meet) havent seen these peeps for 6 months and probably wont see them again for another 6 months so need really to go so peeps dont forget me.

June time I may start writing a new freeform game (with some help) so got that to look forward to but after that not much is going on...got an away day pirates shoot which should be fun (if peeps turn up that is). Im sure other things will come up.

Well thats it for now.....

Will do another update when I get time.



Current Mood: okay

5th December 2008

11:24am: Life in the Doughnut world....

Well yup im back so welcome back me lol

Reason i havent been on for quite a while was due to no interest in LJ and my life wasnt that interesting if depressing to read hencewhy I sort of stopped for a while. I was also busy in other things and didnt really have time to get a journal up to date.......hence lack of action.

Anyway first thing you may notice is the new profile piccie, that was taken on holiday in greece about 3 months ago........more about that later.

So any updates on the last major post some 4/5 months ago??

Beatles Convention (Aug 22-26)

Overall it was an enjoyable if expensive four days with a few friends. Saw many bands in Liverpool and also went to the Cavern Club which was very dark and very humid but had fun anyway. Met my friends who did turn up in the end but sadly they met some other friends beforehand which meant I spent at least one full day by myself which wasnt ideal for me. Due too this and the event being expensive with me bored a few times (you get to a point when you dont want to hear another beatles song) I will probably not go next year and save my money (about £300) for something else...........but still glad that I went.

Greece Holiday (Zante - Sept 14-28)

Overall had a brilliant trip to Greece for 2 weeks, my first trip away for 4 years. Got tanned went to some lovely places including Olympia (where the olympics was born) and met some nice people. Did feel let down by these friends and it was clear I wasnt going to keep in touch with them after  the holiday, im not fussed really they just didnt get on with me....they were hard drinkers I wasnt. I wanted to talk with everyone they would not be bothered to. I was seriously let down at one stage which made me very upset and fuming.....but despite this will go again next year and care more about myself....will get tanned...go on trips and have a nice swim in the warm sea. Didnt meet anyone nice sadly.....oh well..........i still enjoyed the trip though!

Birthday Bash (Nov 15th)

As I could not have a birthday party on my actual birthday (week before), I arranged a birthday party (80s/sci fi themed) which to some degree went very well indeed. Almost all 30 people that attended were in costume (I was in my BG uniform) and seemed to have a good time, I was miffed at one stage when nearly all shouted they wanted a dance....in the middle of my quiz.....I spent ages sorting this out and to get this feedback made me (quietly) angry....so I had to walk out for a few mins to get some fresh air and quieten down a bit. It worked thankfully as I came back and told people that the quiz was still going on. Some people made a fuss about some questions as well, for beep sake its only a quiz and do I care if this person came from this land not the other land etc etc. Anyway peeps had their wish and danced at the end....well only a few hardcore and most of those were not the people that wanted to dance! Anyway got some nice pressies and chatted to many people......it was a success I think?

Consequences 2008 (Nov 20- 24)

November was a busy month for me but its nice to be busy isnt it??? December will be quieter anyway.

Anyway attended my normal freeform convention at Naish Holiday park and took part in 7 games over a 3 day period. The games I felt this year were not as good as last year but it was great meeting everyone again (and made some new friends). I can remember at one stage chatting at an after game party to two former game wives.....it was very funny. This year I was a nasty spy, a best man, a mage (yuk), a director and a french mayor to name a few! Will go again next year most def.


Will probably try and start this again early next year as I havent been for nearly a year now.....still not that keen but will give it a try one final try at least. May start again in March 09

Davy Jones Locker

Is going to be the new freeform game that I be running for LOTNA in March 2009, its based on Pirates and should be loads of fun to run. Will start looking at the game files very soon and will take about a month to set up and will involve about 11 players. Should be loads of laughs anyway. Always like to see people happy from what Ive done......even if it is knackering.

 Future Holidays

Was hoping to goto Oz in March 09 to see my sister but due to work commitments this is now off.....may go in 2010. Parents will still be going though but its not going to be cheap for them. I will be home sitting the fish for them lol Im not too bothered about it to be honest with you. Need to save for Greece 09.....dunno where i be going though yet.

General This and That

Generally things are going okay for me at the moment, just getting on with life got no choice really. Still playing tribal wars and now got guitar hero 3 on my xbox (with guitar) which is great fun. Both parents and sister are fine as well. Going to LOTNA more frequently now as did miss the regular meetings.....will still miss the odd few as cant afford to goto every meet.

Anyway thats it for now....enough typing has been done  lol
Current Mood: pessimistic

4th December 2008

12:04am: Im stil alive!!
Hi all,

Just to quickly mention that Im still alive and well just forgot my username and password on this..........will try and post things more frequently soon.

Ta very much.

3rd August 2008

4:34pm: Its been a while.......
Well its been what 3 months or so since my last LJ report. This was really due to having no interest in doing it anymore and to be honest my life isnt that interesting for other people to read frequently (I hope so do anyway).

So what has happened since that Early May report......well:


Didnt go in the end only for one morning, the main reason was that a close family friend had died which meant I wasnt in the right mood to go anyway so I attended the LOTNA game and then went home for the weekend. I wasnt in the right frame of mind.


The past 4/5 months my attendance at LOTNA hasnt been that frequent. Its not because I dont like going I still do but its just clashed with so many other events and also I had to start saving up for a few things (Beatles week in late August, London trip in early July and my holiday in September). So hopefully going to the August 9th meet which will be my final meet for 2 months. This is because the next 3 meets will clash with my Beatles week and then my holiday. So after this my next meet will be the Auction (got some stuff ready for that). Sad to see Tlanti go off for a year but reading her reports when can and she seems to be enjoying life in NZ.....so good on her I say!

London Trip - Early July

Went with a close lady friend for 3 days to London and saw many things including Tower of London, London Dungeon and Avenue Q stage show, everything went to plan and had a good 3 days away from work.........wish the company was a bit better though :o(

Beatles Week(end) Late August

From Aug 22 to 26 going to liverpool for 4 days with some old danish friends to celebrate the Beatles. This involved going to many concerts from tribute fans and doing various Beatle things. Should be good but problem is now that one of my friends could be pulling out due to her mother not being well at all. I fully understand this but if she dosent go her friend wont go which will leave me walking around liverpool for 4 days literally by myself trying to enjoy the event.......something which makes me unconfortable and alone. I hate being alone which is turning into a big fear for me nowadays due to being unlucky in relationships.

Birthday Do

In November im planning to have 2 birthday dos........one is a party on Nov 15th with my LOTNA friends which is themed sci fi/80s with 80s music. going to be great fun.........my actual birthday is on Nov 8th in which I have already planned going out with some other friends so doing this and then my LOTNA party the week after. Before you ask its not a big birthday yet.......still got a few years to go. Anyway something to look forward to after my holiday.......which is next topic


Going to Zakynthos(Zante) in mid September for 2 weeks, my first trip aboard for 4 years and yes looking forward to it. Be nice to comeback to Britain with a tan hopefully. Going to see a lot of things which Im looking forward to.......its not that cheap but hey hope its worth it. Been saving since April for it and its finally paid.


Work is going okay I guess, not really enjoying it anymore but its better then no job, life at home is fine no problems just spending too much time by myself now and worrying about everything. Love life.....well non existent as ever and when I find someone......I ever become to attached and then let down or have no chance anyway.........im starting to get fed up of being just friends.......I want more is that too much to ask nowadays??.......been single for far too long now and yea its hurting badly now but I will try and get over it. 

Its affecting my moods though im a lot less happy then I have been and more withdrawn now.......holiday coming up should help I hope. My parents are concerned as they can see its clearly affecting me but its only me that can change them.......I do rate myself as being pretty unlucky though. Who knows may go and find myself a nice Greek lady with plenty of money and my age lol

I guess thats one reason why im not liking being called Plank anymore, I react to things I dont like more strongly nowadays. Parents are fine both now offically retired so on their travels leaving me many times home alone looking after the fish. They have a cruise in late novermber for 2 weeks, I should be away part of that time at Consequences freeform convention but yea got some good and bad memories of that now. The games are not as good as i hoped they would be (no fault of anyone) and also with the 2 birthday parties and Xmas i might not afford to go anyway.

Next year planning to go about a bit more, may go and see my friends in denmark, usa, Australia (my sister) and even Zante again if I liked it a lot this year. Who knows what may happen next year right???

Oh well thats it..........dunno when I will do a next report.......might be a while but hope u liked this anyway.
Current Mood: lonely

9th May 2008

8:44am: Strange Week...
Been a pretty strange week for me this week.............caught somesort of bug last Sunday so felt pretty unwell for most of this week. Everytime I made a sudden movement or had to bend down I just had this nagging headache like pain so had to take things a bit easy. Ive managed to get through the week thankfully and also starting to sleep much better.

No LOTNA for me tomorrow as taking Mum out to a Michael Jackson tribute Concert in Oxford which should be pretty good even though im not a huge fan. This will also mean I will miss the DZ prep talk sadly again.

Im honestly having mix thoughts about DZ............Ive looked at my part in BG 4 games and really dont think im going to be doing that much. I wanted a good more powerful role but was turned down .......only to see it offered to someone else. Sadly Im really starting not to like my 'Plank' name now.........as it gives a false impression to people that dont know me that im someone that im actually not. As one of my friends rightly said.........I should be respected more and sadly im not with a name like 'Plank'. I will give myself another week to decide if im going to DZ or not..........if the weather forecast isnt great then I def wont go. I just cant put up with rain for 3rd year running. Im not enjoying tagging much anymore for various personal reasons............but dont want to let people down.............im in very mixed minds about it but will decide next week.
Current Mood: okay

1st May 2008

2:25pm: A Busy Few Days

Well had a few busy days which was a nice change. On Friday went to a friends birthday party in which I had a nice time but my mind was on other things so didnt really chat that much. Also started to get a bit tired and needed some sleep (we had to be early up the next morning for tagging). Overall had 4 hours sleep and felt pretty crap the next morning, wasnt happy that I didnt get enough sleep and was watch looking for the last 2 hours at the party.

Saturday was spent tagging and the weather was fine, things are not what they use to be and Ive lost that tagging buzz, as to be honest.......Im no good at it and also its obvious only some key people have the best roles in the game and my tagging nickname of 'Plank' isnt helping.......makes me look pretty dumb at times when Im far from it. Oh well going to Dropzone end of this month..........sort of looking forward to it.........would prefer to watch Eurovision though (as its family tradition here) but no missing that. Hopefully I Player will have it on. Probably my last dropzone unless something drastic happens, I hate sleeping in tents also.

Went to my first LOTNA meet in 6 wks and took part in the Lotnamind quiz, came 2nd to bottom which wasnt brilliant but it went okay and people had fun. I was pretty tired by this time anyway trying to survive on my 4 hours sleep and then running around in a forest. Met some new people though which is always nice.

Next time I will see everyone will be week after Dropzone at a LOTNA friends birthday do and also will be [info]

farewell do as well. Be sad to see a good friend go........but wont be for too long.

My TV timetable for the week is pretty busy now.......new BSG (final series) on Tuesday nights, Apprentice on Wed nights and Heroes (trying to like it) on Thursday nights.

Got nothing planned this weekend.........as really need to save a bit more cash........tried to get GTA IV yesterday for my XBox.........no chance all sold out :o(

Anyway thats it for now soon be home time.


Current Mood: tired

23rd April 2008

12:01pm: Busy Weekend and Some Bad News....

Looking forward to a busy few days (after a pretty quiet few weeks saving up and also spending money on future trips this year).

First though our family has taken another health shock, my mums sister is in hospital after two minor heart attacks which is a bit of a shock to us all. Do we get any luck in the heatlh stakes to what has happened to my sister, dad, cousin and now my auntie!! Well she has to stay for a week and then take it easy for up to 4-6 weeks. We know the reason why she has had these attacks......sadly we think it was coming. Wont go into details here though obviously but its still a shock to all of us especially Mum of course. Parents will probably go and see her sometime Friday (if she wants visitors). The last time I saw her was at my cousins wedding just 2 weeks ago. Well wish her best anyway for a speedy recovery but things will change.

This weekend though is tagging (my first of year and what seems to be ages), kind of looking forward to it as havent been a while but im not as keen as I was a few years back. Im just not good at it sadly.......despite trying and the past 2 dropzones have not helped (both rained off early)....lets hope we get lucky this year. Anyway going on Saturday, the weather is meant to be decent.

Also going to my first LOTNA meet in 6 weeks (missed the last two) and this one will be my last until June (except for a LOTNA/Birthday do in between). Will be nice to see everyone again.

Talking about Birthday dos..........realised mine is on a Saturday this year and a LOTNA night. Sadly I cant have my birthday party then......as it clashes with LOTNA......odd eh?? So I may have a LOTNA/Birthday party the week before (Nov 1st) and then go alsewhere on Nov 8th. Was suggested to do my new freeform game on birthday night.......but I dont want to be knackered on my birthday.......so may do the freeform game in October..........will see.

Current Mood: okay

12th April 2008

8:49am: Things are Happening!!

Well one of my main aims of the year was to get out much.........and Im sticking to that!!

In the past few weeks I have done/booked the following:

Seen the Bootleg Beatles (March)
Going to see a Michael Jackson Tribute (May)
Holiday in Zante (September)
Going with a few friends to the Beatles weekend in Liverpool (August)
Hopefully showing a friend around London (July)
Dropzone 2008 (May)
.......and possibly another freeform game with LOTNA (sometime in Winter)

.......plus all the numerous LOTNA meets that I will try and get to (cant today sadly!).

This does mean a lot of money is going out of my account buy hey im good at saving so should not be a serious problem for me. Im looking forward to these events anyway as it will keep me busy during the summer. Sadly it does mean less LOTNA visits in some months (like I will only manage to get to two lotna nights the next 2 months or so due to clash of events) but Im going to try and get to as many as can (June and July should be able to go to all the meets!).

Cant go to LOTNA today as off  to my cousins wedding in Surrey, going to be a long day!!

Anyway something to look forward to and also gets my mind off other things.

Hope everyone who reads this is okay btw......and hope peeps have a good time at LOTNA tonight.......its my first ever time that Ive missed two LOTNA meets in a row.........will try and make the next one (after tagging).

Current Mood: busy

20th March 2008

7:53am: Bootleg Beatles Concert
Went to the see the 'Bootleg Beatles' in Oxford last night and being a Beatles fan I thought they were very good. They started off singing songs from the early period (1962-65) and then went off to get 'older' then came back in their Shea Staduim/Rubber Soul gear (1965-66) and did a few more songs.........mostly the hits but some album tracks which was a surprise (gives the chance for all of them to sing......yup including Ringo!. Then they went off again and came back in their Sgt Pepper gear (1967) and did all the hits from that album including the pretty hard to do 'Day in the life'. Interval then came for about 15 mins, didnt do that much but chatted to a friend who was going for a bit....she is even bigger Beatles fan then me!

After the interval it was the Magical Mystery Tour/ White Album songs (1968) and ended with the Abbey Road/Let it Be songs (1969). Each section had a costume change (mainly hair getting younger and additional facial hair lol) it lasted for about 2.5 hours which was good value for money. My seat was a bit cramped but I manage to live through the small pain to my knee caps! Anyway bought a DVD and programme which was pretty cheap. Also arranged to meet my friend again later this year and may go to Liverpool to attend the 'Beatles Week' too early to say at the moment. It was a long night and didnt get to sleep until 12.45am.....then had to get up for work at 6 the next morning! Just managed it lol

Anyway off to LOTNA for Sat night, want to go as will not be around that many meets in April and May should be good if a bit quieter from the last meet (the 10th Aniversary).
Current Mood: tired

14th March 2008

1:51pm: 100 Most Annoying Songs
Let's see how sad you really are.
Bold the ones you like (if you dare!).

Forgot how to do the cut option so here it is in all its glory!! 


Hey not too bad!

100. Jennifer Lopez - Jenny from the Block.
99. Beautiful South - Perfect 10.
98. 'Weird Al' Yankovic - Eat It    Its soooo funny!!
97. Lionel Richie - Hello ...........goodbye more like
96. Art Garfunkel - Bright Eyes ..soooo saddd!!
95. Nizlopi - JCB Song
94. Blur - Parklife
93. Color Me Badd - I Wanna Sex You Up..........erm no thanks
92. Craig David - 7 Days ......more like 3 mins!!
91. 4 Non Blondes - What's Up
90. Enya - Orinoco Flow.......very haunting tune
89. Coldplay - Yellow
88. Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart
87. Phil Collins - In The Air Tonight
86. Shania Twain - That Don't Impress Me Much
85. The Streets - Dry Your Eyes
84. The Police - Every Breath You Take
83. Cyndi Lauper - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
82. Tori Amos - Cornflake Girl
81. Boomtown Rats - I Don't Like Mondays Tell me about it
80. D:Ream - Things Can Only Get Better
79. Simply Red - Holding Back The Years
78. Sinitta - So Macho
77. James - Sit Down
76. Meat Loaf - I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)
75. UB40 - Red Red Wine
74. Michael Jackson - Earth Song
73. Robson Green & Jerome Flynn - Unchained Melody
72. Elton John - Nikita
71. M People - Moving On Up Very good for when I'm feeling down
70. Toni Basil - Mickey
69. Leo Sayer - You Make Me Feel Like Dancing
68. Shamen - Ebeneezer Goode
67. Europe - The Final Countdown

66. Tony Christie - (Is This The Way To) Amarillo
65. Crash Test Dummies - Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm
64. Pussycat Dolls - Don'tcha
63. Manic Street Preachers - If You Tolerate This Your Children Will Be Next
62. Chesney Hawkes - The One and Only

61. Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart Ah bless.
60. Gwen Stefani - Wind It Up
59. Ricky Martin - Livin' La Vida Loca
58. 2 Unlimited - No Limit
57. Dido - Thank You
56. Michael Bolton - How Am I Supposed To Live Without You
55. R.E.M. - Shiny Happy People
54. Akon - Lonely
53. Reynolds Girls - I'd Rather Jack
52. Shakira - Wherever Whenever
51. Dire Straits - Money for Nothing
50. Westlife - Flying Without Wings
49. Starship - We Built This City
48. B*Witched - C'est la Vie
47. Ultravox - Vienna
46. Fast Food Rockers - Fast Food Song
45. Jimmy Nail - Ain't No Doubt
44. Arctic Monkeys - I Bet You Look Good On the Dancefloor
43. Sandi Thom - I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (With Flowers In My Hair)
42. Lighthouse Family - Lifted
41. Kylie Minogue andJason Donovan - Especially For You
40. All Saints - Never Ever
39. Alanis Morissette - Ironic Story of my life
38. Sinead O'Connor - Nothing Compares 2 U Powerful
37. Bobby McFerrin - Don't Worry, Be Happy
36. Whigfield - Saturday Night
35. The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love
34. Wings - Mull of Kintyre

33. Spandau Ballet - True
32. Bryan Adams - (Everything I Do) I Do It For You
31. Right Said Fred - I'm Too Sexy
30. Billy Joel - We Didn't Start the Fire
29. MC Hammer - U Can't Touch This
28. James Blunt - You're Beautiful
27. Sisqo - Thong Song
26. Katie Melua - 9 Million Bicycles
25. Shaggy - It Wasn't Me
24. Babybird - You're Gorgeous
23. Geri Halliwell - Look At Me
22. Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive
21. Cliff Richard - Millennium Prayer
20. Lou Bega - Mambo No. 5
19. Wet Wet Wet - Love Is All Around
18. Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You
17. Toploader - Dancing in the Moonlight
16. Afroman - Because I Got High
15. Billie - Because We Want To
14. TATU - All the Things She Said
13. Ace of Base - All That She Wants
12. True Steppers ft. Dane Bowers and Victoria Beckham - Out of Your Mind
11. Dexy's Midnight Runners - Come On Eileen
10. Aqua - Barbie
9. Cher - Believe
8. Nickelback - How You Remind Me
7. Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby

6. Daniel Bedingfield - If You're Not The One
5. Band Aid 20 - Do They Know It's Christmas?
4. Chumbawamba - Tubthumping
3. Robbie Williams - Angels

2. Crazy Frog - Axel F
1. Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On

5th March 2008

2:09pm: Been Quite A While
Its been quite a while since last log the main reason is that nothing much had happened really.

Well until now that is...........got my holiday booked for the first time in 4 years Im actually going to leave these fair shores and head off to Greece (Zante in fact). Really looking forward to it, going to do the full works all the excusion trips take plenty of piccies and hopefully will get a nice tan (I tan nicely Ive been told). Anyway it will help get the stress out of me. Not going until September so still plenty of time to save up.

Got the LOTNA party on Saturday which im looking forward to, going to be the DJ for that event and got 4 playlists that I can choose from plus another 5000 songs if needed! Should be a good laugh and be nice to see everyone again.

Work to put it simply is crap very crap at the moment but thats all Im going to say about that really.........no point moaning about it on here.

Helen is still with us (been with us since Dads birthday do a few weeks back), she is going back to Oz on Friday so will be able to go and say goodbye to her. Will probably see her again next March.

Anyway work day will end soon......then can relax a bit this evening.
Current Mood: okay

14th February 2008

8:43am: Valentines Day ???
Valentines Day today..........just another day for me then......pretty normal sadly.

Anyway the week has been hectic again due to recruting work that I had to catch up on after being at the convention a few weeks back and also our big annual dinner which is on monday (Dinner Jacket/Bow Tie - 15 hour working day). So we all here got to get that ready (polishing silver, washing wine jugs, moving tables and chairs) the actual event is pretty boring really. Its very formal and then you have to listern to a few talks that go on for ages! I dont sociallise with the students normally so after the dinner and talks have ended and the socialising has begun.......Im normally pretty bored! Students chat to fellow students, guests talk to students and sometimes us staff members.....and us staff members.....erm just stand their. Just glad its only once a year! After this dinner has ended work normally gets a bit quieter and goes back to normal.

Nice to see everyone at LOTNA on 9th, wasnt their for too long as had to leave early but will be at the 10th Aniversary party which should be a laugh (cant make next meet as going to another party).

Should be a quiet weekend may go and see Oxford try and play footie........only time this season.

.........got some Valentines texts.....from lady friends......still makes me smile though lol Even if they are just friends.
Current Mood: okay

8th February 2008

9:47am: Its been a pretty hectic week for me as had to do end of month accounts with a lot of new recruits work as well. Thankfully its Friday now and things seem to be a bit more calmer (well at the moment anyway).

Im generally feeling okay at the moment which makes a nice change, this was due to how badly I was screwed up with last weekend. I havent felt so bad for a long time and yea on that Sat nite I got very emotional and seriously was very depressed. Thankfully the friends I was in the lodge were great listerners to what was going on, but yea it ruined a pretty good weekend for me. This has made me now even more wary of the female kind and sad to say suspicious straight away if anyone comes up and says hello (unless they are close friends who I have known for quite sometime and do trust). Well some peeps say its a mistake but im still chatting to this other person, no more texts though havent sent one since Sunday now. Im a friendly chap but I will not forget what has happened, she isnt worth all of this anyway but for a good few weeks I felt wanted and alive hence why I cant totally forget it. Im a planner type of person so I was so looking forward to the con so when it dosent happen its a major dissapointment to me.

So I have to move on and get on with life so this means less worries about this other person and me just getting back to normal lonely life.

I was planning to goto the States this year with a few friends but looks like thats been called off and dont really want to go by myself. Also we were meant to be going to see my sister in Oz around Xmas this year and thats also been called off as it will be too hot and my Dad will struggle with the heat (I probably would as well). I def need to go aboard for a holiday as havent had one for 4 years now??

So........not got much to look forward to at the moment, got Dropzone this year and really hope the weather is much better as if its not then it will be my last visit. Im not into tagging as much as I use to be as Im not that good at it to be honest. Generally when I dont enjoy something then I dont stay for too long. Like this convention it was getting so bad at one stage (due to me not wanting to be around this person) then I felt like leaving Sat nite but I stayed.

Need to go on Xbox tomorrow for a bit in the morning just to cheer myself up more and get beaten in Halo3! May even try Mass Effect again but be a different character and perhaps a bit more nasty lol May even treat myself to something this month but pretty skint though.

LOTNA this weekend looking forward to it just relaxing chatting to friends will be my last for a month as away in 2 weeks time (family party).

Anyway better get some work done.
Current Mood: okay

5th February 2008

9:58pm: Convention Report
Just a quick report about the convention, was in a nice lodge with some good friends, the 4 games I did in the end were briliant (Hell o Campers) good (Rockers Game) serious (Nuns of Watton) and very confusing (Paranoia game). Overall not as good as Consequences but nice to see everyone again........well nearly everyone. I wont go into detail but some parts of the convention made me feel pretty upset. Again though it was nice to see other people and looking forward to seeing them all again in November. Just in time again will be seeing everyone at LOTNA this weekend and this time no quiz from me lol

30th January 2008

12:14pm: Off to convention this afternoon and really looking forward to it..........going to party and have fun as the past few weeks have been close to a complete emotional nightmare lol

Anyway better do this as was sent from a friend:

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
A. Nope not at the moment, seems relationships and me dont go together.....well not yet.
2) What was your dream growing up?
A. Rock Star lol
3) What talent do you wish you had?
A. Sing
4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
A. Cider
5) Favorite vegetable?
A. Carrot??
6) What was the last book you read?
A. Reading 'I am Legend'
7) What zodiac sign are you?
A. Scorpio
8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
A. None
9) Worst Habit?
A. chewing nails
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
A. Yup
11) What is your favorite sport?
A. Football
12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
A. Negative/ Realistic
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
A. Have a good chat and dont panic lol
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A. Nearly losing my sister to cancer
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
A. Er.........
16) Do you have any pets?
A. Yes 3 fish
17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?
A. I ask if you want a drink and then we chat
18) What was your first impression of me? (hmmm...careful!)
A. Very nice person to chat to
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A. scary
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
A. Forehead not so high
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
A. conscience
22) What color eyes do you have?
A. Dark Brown....Black with contacts
23) Ever been arrested?
A. Nope
24) Bottle or can soda?
A. Both
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
A. Invest half into a high savings account so to gain good interest and then go on holiday
27) What's your favorite place to hang at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
A. Yes and No
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A. Computers
30) Do you swear a lot?
A. Not a lot.
31) Biggest pet peeve?
A. Ermm
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
A. Friendly
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
A. Yes I do but seems dosent happen to me at all.
35) Do you believe in God?
A. Yes not very strongly
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
A. Probably not lol
Current Mood: excited

28th January 2008

10:54am: A Nice Weekend
It was nice to see everyone again at LOTNA at the weekend. I hosted the quiz which started later then I hoped but it did finish just after 10pm so that was fine. Had some booing by some ungrateful people and also their was a lot of chatter during the quiz which made me shout a lot more and thus the next morning I sounded like 'Barry White'! Thankfully I didnt lose my voice totally but it was close. Overall I think it went well and yes having the joker played a part but the team that won rightly won.

Just two days at work this week and then off to the convention. Looking forward to it be nice to see some friends but slightly worried about the free time that Ive got. This includes all Thursday and most of Saturday, their are some table top games which I will take part in, some that offer some kind of roleplaying and not wargaming, Friday is the busy day when Im taking part in two LARP games. One im a heavy metal rocker (and yup thanks to a friend Ive got a long Alice Cooper wig and beard plus gray spray (as meant to be a bit older), add to this leather jacket, trousers (probably jeans) and Led Zepp T-shirt and Im all sorted. Would have been ideal to have a 'guitar' even an inflatable one but nevermind.

Later that day im a Blue Peter 60s TV presenter who has been asked to present some awards and be on a panel at a Talent contest. For this Im wearing a blue flowery shirt (thanks to Dad) with waistcoat. Jeans as trosuers and this is the funny bit, Im borrowing my Dads National Health specs! These specs have got a very weak prescription so should be okay for my contact lense eyes, I wont be wearing them too much anyway. I was thinking of bringing the Blue Peter 'Cat' but I think I got enough. Thats all on the Friday.

Saturday just playing one game in afternoon which is the paranoia game and dont have to be in costume for this one! Yipee!!

So overall taking a lot less costume wise but making up for it with normal clothes as staying a few days longer and of course some basic food. More time does mean more time to drink and party and maybe going to a party on Thursday and Friday nights. Wednesday their is no party planned just a general drinking session at the bar that evening that I may attend depending what time im arriving (I guess around 7pm) and some tea.

Yup looking forward to it just have to get these two days over and done with........and yes they are dragging on.
Current Mood: optimistic

22nd January 2008

11:53am: A normal entry now:

Great to have a weekend at home and finally could have a lie in!! (well woke up 10am thats a lie in for me). Managed to finish Mass Effect on the XBox it was a great game, may play it again and change a few things this time. Become a baddy for instance?? Just trying to get through this week and then only a few more days next week and then away for just under a week at the Convention which ive been waiting for ages!!

Sort of got my costumes ready for the games at the Con, I only need to be in costume for 2 of them so can pack less so trying my hardest to make sure im in good costume. One game im a childrens TV presenter (think Timmy Mallett) and the other an ancient rocker (think Lemmy from motorhead!) hehe should be fun anyway. Got a lot more free time as well this time so I hope i find something to do and its not too boring.

Ive got 'tunnel' vision brain pattens at the moment which means I try and not think about certain things and just concentrate on other things........its one way of me trying to cheer up and be more positive. Its kind of working.

Looking forward to hosting the quiz on Saturday lets just hope it goes smoothly and I have no problems, I have changed it slightly make it a bit more interesting. Hope many people turn up, got enough paperwork for 5 teams. Around 86 points will be on offer split between 4 rounds, some quick some much longer. Hoping to start about 745pm (so some people dont miss all of it), again that was a problem last time when people started to leave about 930pm when the quiz wasnt over.

Been trying to watch Primevel and Torchwood just so I can get into some conversations at LOTNA and erm sorry peeps.........just dont like them! Dunno why but its the same feeling I get when watching Babylon 5 lol Dont really watch that much TV nowadays just sport (like African Cup of Nations atm).

Anyway its lunchtime now and im starving!!
Current Mood: working
11:46am: Ok been tagged by a few people to do this.........but im going to struggle thinking of 10 things......its not really been a great time for me. So forgive me if some are trivial.

The rules are easy, just post 10 things that recently made you happy! Then tag 10 some people and force them to suggest that they post this meme on their LJs. Because it is good. Everyone needs a little happiness once in a while.

1) Finishing Mass Effect on Saturday........a great role playing game with amazing graphics, hope their will be a sequel.......or even a film! Now onto Halo 3!!
2) The convention next week......looking forward to seeing some friends that I may not see for another 11 months and also taking part in some games.
3) Making some new friends on facebook and feeling wanted by exisitng friends when im feeling down (which is happening a lot at the moment)
4) Looking ahead and actually thinking of going on holiday for the first time in years!! (as Oz trip in December looks off.........done it again another negative!! sorry!!)
5) Recruitment Period at work near a close.......soon be less hectic here!!
6) Planky Quiz 2.......finally going to happen at LOTNA this Sat.........I hope!
7) My works office looking much better as got the LOTNA Calendar up!!
8) Dad soon to be retired........will cheer him up more and thus make me and Mum more happy!
9) Going to see Bootleg Beatles on March 19th.......with parents (treated them)
10) Trying to be postive for the rest of the year........I will find that special someone!!
Current Mood: okay

17th January 2008

8:04am: A Busy Week Carries On......
Well working on Sunday has made me feel that the working week has gone on for much longer (well it has one day more) so this morning felt even more tired then normal. Felt like I never had a night sleep...........need to catch up on all this during the weekend. Thats if I dont play XBox all the time lol I have done well only played it once this week so far. Nothing planned this weekend saving again for the end of the month oh life is a bit on the boring side at the moment.
Current Mood: okay

14th January 2008

2:43pm: Umbrella........ella........ella lol
Off to get an umbrella very soon............as walked to work this morning the rain was tipping down and the wind came and well took my parents umbrella with it.....literally so to soften the blow of losing one so precious at the moment (seems to rain pretty hard nowadays) I off to get a replacement (and also a newer better one for me). Not really the start of the week that I wanted. Feels like Tuesday today though as was at work yesterday..........5 hours of being completely knackered telling 30 students whoose IQs are meant to be better then me how to sign their name properly lol Very busy today as well has made me more tired then normal. I will get a second wind this evening though always have done.

Got my two parts for the convention at the end of the month and I love them. Playing a 60s childrens TV presenter for one (a part I was born to be) so need to find a loud cheesy shirt (mm Dad might have one) and baggy shorts (erm Dad again??). In the other game im playing a ageing rocker..........cool time to wear my leather jacket and perhaps spike the hair a bit.......need to spray bit of grey on it as well. Also time to wear my led Zepp t-shirt.......sadly not going to where leather trousers.....especially if it gets hot lol Looking forward to it so will try and stay healthy........only 2 weeks away now. Hope the weather is better then, remember last time I went it chucked it down and the wind was making a good impression of a mini hurricane!! Anyway need to get through work the next two and a bit weeks before that happens, got the Planky quiz before then as well and looking forward to that........shame could not goto LOTNA Saturday but their was no chance I could really make it and enjoy it.

Anyway better get that umbrella........and please no one start singing that Rihanna song please lol

10th January 2008

7:56am: Back to Work
Well in the middle of the first full week back at work and slowly things are going back to normal. So far been a pretty busy working week as doing prep work for this Sunday, again have to go into work to make sure the new 1st years get all their paperwork done so its not going to be a relaxing day at all for me. Going to feel like a teacher making sure 30 kids know what they are doing........oh what fun! Again will get a day off at the end of month for doing this.

This means no LOTNA this weekend which is a shame, be nice to chat to everyone again after the festive season (which really just came and went for me). Planky quiz at the next LOTNA after that though!

Looking forward to event im going to at the end of the month, be meeting some old friends again but also be alone for quite a bit of the time. Who knows what may happen? Will attend a few late night parties anyway. Prob go late Wed afternoon (30th) no real rush and then start playing some table top games the next day (as got no LARP/Freeform game until the next day!).

I hope its good, dont want to be dissapointed even though its really not my kind of thing (table top convention not freeform one but their are some freeform games), a reason im going is to meet some friends who I probably wont see for another well 11 months!! Its something to look forward to anyway and havent got many of them at the moment.

Need an early night tonight as feeling run down, its my own fault though staying up and its finally hit me today. Im relying on people too much in evenings and when they let me down (and it happens a lot) then I feel 'whats the point!' then I stay up and before I know it, its pretty late.

Oxford been in the news this week due to not one but two tree protests. Their is a small square in the middle of the town called 'Bonn Square' at the moment its a statue surronded by grass and a few old trees. Council have decided that to improve its image (it does look pretty bad at the moment) they want to put concrete over the grass and take down the trees. All but one tree has now been taken down due to protests and thus in the news. Well this has spread to another section of the town! Well I admire what they are doing but its highly unlikely they are going to win.........will wait and see.

Been playing XBox a few times to get my mind off things and it does work, bought Guitar Hero 3 yesterday but havent got around to playing it yet, looking forward to it anyway (didnt get the guitar version as that would have cost me an extra £30 or so). Will see if I can play it a bit tonight when I get home. Dont bother watching much TV at the moment as their is nothing on.........yup sorry that includes Torchwood.....as peeps know ive never been a fan........sorry!

So as normal will be home tonight on computer just not doing much and then go to sleep wake up go to work and then go home and do nothing at all.........oh what a life!

..........yea feeling down again lol sorry
Current Mood: discontent

1st January 2008

4:02pm: The End of a Quiet Festive Period
Since the boxing day post I really havent done that much. Went to Reading on 28th to see 'I am Legend' and it was pretty good a bit short though but the book was only 166 pages long.

New Years Eve then soon came and then went..........yup stayed at home with parents and didnt really do that much, it felt like a normal evening to be honest. Watched BBC2 as BBC1 felt so amateur and had to laugh at their special 'guests' many I never heard of!! Jools Holland was miles better then this!!

Back to work tomorrow and the festive period has gone pretty quick and been pretty quiet. Going to make sure that end of 2008 I will at least do something lol. Work should be okay if busy.

Conception end of this month which is going to be well interesting.

Anyway this year is going to be year of thinking for myself and not been used by people, if they dont bother to send back texts or just generally be nice then Im not wasting my time with them.

Wish everyone a Happy new year anyway and thanks for those who sent me text messages.
Current Mood: determined

26th December 2007

11:07am: Quiet Xmas so far..........
Well this year has def been a quiet Xmas. We went out for a meal yesterday and it was pretty nice but def not worth the £67 per head. It did mean Mum could relax and didnt have to worry about cooking so that was good. Also we all got a nice pressie from Santa while at this hotel, a small alarm clock. Funny thing is Ive already got one for a Xmas gift. To replace my ageing alarm clock ive now got a pretty sci fi looking spacey I-Pod/ Radio and Alarm clock. This means I can be woken up by my I-pod (just make sure its not too loud lol).

Mum is off to see my half sister for a few days but will be back for New Years Eve. Nothing is planned for that either just probably be at home watching it on TV with the parents (have done that the past few years). Sadly most of my local friends have either got married or moved away.

Have stopped sending many texts to this lady now as its just not worth it, busy period of time anyway and its clear she isnt reading what ive put down. Yea did get one message yesterday and then I replied and yup got nothing back........this patten is all so familiar now. Oh well its going to be hard but will try and get around this and make 2008 somewhat a better year for me........will think for myself a lot more I need to and got my friends around to help as well. Def need that special someone though as its clear to me that ive been alone too long now but will try and not be too depressed about that as have been many times.

Luckly the flu I had ended just before Xmas Eve so meant I could enjoy yesterday again it was pretty quiet had meal and then watched Doctor Who which was pretty good. Today no real plans, may play 'Fingers on the Buzzer' with the parents tonight.

Anyway hope everyone has had a great Xmas period and a good New Year!!
Current Mood: rejected
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